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<title>A Thing So Small by Moodypetrichorlove, mrsgreenworld</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690355">A Thing So Small</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moodypetrichorlove/pseuds/Moodypetrichorlove'>Moodypetrichorlove</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsgreenworld/pseuds/mrsgreenworld'>mrsgreenworld</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sen Çal Kapımı (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Eda knows the truth!, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Reunions, Second Chances</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:22:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moodypetrichorlove/pseuds/Moodypetrichorlove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsgreenworld/pseuds/mrsgreenworld</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s something in her eyes that makes it hard to breathe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Serkan Bolat/Eda Yildiz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Thing So Small</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A slight canon divergence where Efe doesn't leave and Eda continues working with him. After having learned the truth about her parents' death she, however, stops coming to the Art Life office and works remotely. A month later, Eda and Serkan see each other at a business lunch. What happens next helps to break the wall that is now standing between them... Or does it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p><b><em>“I don’t blame you. How can I blame you for something that wasn’t your fault? I can’t. And I won’t. But the fact that you hid the truth about the most important thing in my life from me? That I cannot forgive. Not now. I cannot even look at you right now </em> </b> <b> <em> . </em> </b> <b> <em> ”  </em> </b> </p><p> </p><p>“Serkan? Serkan! Are you even listening to me?” Engin’s loud voice pulls Serkan from the dark corners of his mind where the echoes of Eda’s last words to him are too real and too sharp.  </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright, Abicim? You don’t look very good. Maybe we shouldn’t have agreed to this meeting. I have a really bad feeling about this,” Engin keeps rambling into Serkan’s ear.  </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous. I am fine, Engin.”  </p><p> </p><p>“You sure? Because you haven’t seen each other for a month. Your only line of communication with her has been Efe. You cannot stand the guy! And I know that him being so close to Eda has been driving you crazy.”  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan shifts uncomfortably in his seat upon hearing Efe’s name. He can feel that a vein on his right temple is about to start pulsing so he nervously rubs the spot with his fingers.  </p><p> </p><p>“I knew it was a bad idea! There! You’re doing the thing!” Engin exclaims. </p><p> </p><p>“What thing?” Serkan asks, confused.  </p><p> </p><p>“The rubbing your forehead or temples thing! You always do this when you see Efe near Eda.”  </p><p> </p><p>“I... I don’t. I told you I am fine.”  </p><p> </p><p>Engin opens his mouth to protest but clearly decides against it and goes for silently studying his best friend instead.  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan wonders what Engin sees. Does he see the exhaustion brought on by sleepless nights? Endless nights where he lies awake in his cold lonely empty bed. He’s not restless, there’s no tossing and turning. He just lies on his back and stares into the darkness. But darkness is not what he sees. It’s her. Always her. Her face in that moment when she finally learned the truth. How her eyes filled to the brim with disappointment and hurt. He had, however, seen both in her eyes before. It was the look of utter betrayal that became his undoing. And now it comes to haunt him every night. It stares at him, mocks him through the darkness.  </p><p> </p><p>Can Engin see the weight on his shoulders? The weight that never lifted even though the truth is out.  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan is actually curious to find out what it is his friend sees on his face and in his eyes, but he never gets to ask the question because Engin’s attention switches somewhere behind Serkan. And Serkan doesn’t need to turn to know what, or rather who, Engin has noticed.  </p><p> </p><p>“This was definitely a bad idea,” Engin mutters under his breath yet again and rises from his seat to greet two people approaching their table.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Efe! Welcome!”  </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Engin! Good to see you.”  </p><p> </p><p>Efe comes into Serkan’s line of vision and gives him a cold nod, “Serkan.” </p><p> </p><p>“Efe,” Serkan’s responds shortly while he hears Engin say, “Edacım, I am so happy to see you!”  </p><p> </p><p>And that’s when he hears<em> her </em>, “It’s good to see you too, Engin.”  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan’s eyes close on an exhale as he tries to soak up the sound of her voice. Because it’s like the living water, like balm to the wound, like all the best music pieces wrapped in one.  </p><p> </p><p>And then... then he sees her. She walks around Efe to take a seat next to him and opposite Serkan.  </p><p> </p><p><em> God, she is divine. </em> </p><p> </p><p>Her dark silky hair is down, its soft waves framing her face. Her face is almost free of any makeup (it’s not like she needs it anyway) save for some mascara on her naturally long lashes and a nude lip gloss. She’s wearing a black jacket with a plain white shirt underneath.  </p><p> </p><p><em> She’s lost weight</em>, he notices and his brows furrow in concern.  </p><p> </p><p>She avoids looking at him and focuses on pulling some folders out of her bag.  </p><p> </p><p>Efe’s voice pulls Serkan from his entranced perusal.  </p><p> </p><p>“Eda and I finished our part of the project. The rest is on your team. Our drawings and plans are all here.”  </p><p> </p><p>Efe takes the folders Eda has taken out of her bag and hands them to Serkan.  </p><p> </p><p>“Shall we order something? Discussing business on an empty stomach is never a good idea,” Engin suggests with forced cheerfulness.  </p><p> </p><p>While Serkan appreciates his friend’s attempt at relieving some of the tension, it doesn’t really help.  </p><p> </p><p>“Why not? Good idea. What do you think, Edacım? Are you hungry?”  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan cringes internally at the sweetness in Efe’s voice. And what’s with the “Edacım”? Yet again? What kind of closeness is this?  </p><p> </p><p>“Err... No, not really,” Eda mutters. Still, she picks up her menu and scans it distractedly. She has yet to meet Serkan’s eyes. She’s been effectively avoiding looking in his general direction so far.  </p><p> </p><p>A waiter comes up to their table and asks if they’re ready to order. Serkan’s watching Eda while Engin and Efe are placing their lunch orders.  </p><p> </p><p>“And for you, Miss?” the waiter asks Eda politely. </p><p> </p><p>"I'll... I’ll have a smoothie.”  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan snorts at that in amusement because only Eda Yıldız can order a smoothie while at a business lunch.  </p><p> </p><p>Eda’s eyes zero in on him.<em> Finally</em>. He’s got her attention. Even if her eyes are throwing daggers she’s looking at him and that’s all that matters. He feels like he can breathe again for the first time in the last month.  </p><p> </p><p>“Can I have the one with strawberries?" she asks pointedly, all the while glaring at Serkan. "What’s its name?”   </p><p> </p><p>“Tropical Paradise?” the waiter asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, that one.”  </p><p> </p><p>The waiter turns to Serkan. </p><p> </p><p>“What can I get for you, Sir?”  </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll have the same as the lady, please. Only, do not add strawberries.”   </p><p> </p><p>"Yes, of course.”  </p><p> </p><p>Just as the waiter leaves, Engin whispers into Serkan’s ear, “A smoothie? Serkan Bolat ordering a smoothie at a business lunch? Really?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Engin, really! And what’s wrong with smoothie? It’s healthy!” he whisper-yells in response.  </p><p> </p><p>The next fifteen minutes or so pass in a conversation revolving around their current project, with Efe and Engin doing most of the talking. Eda makes several comments here and there while Serkan... Well, Serkan just revels in her presence. The waiter comes and goes, bringing their orders. Serkan barely registers that his smoothie has been placed in front of him. He picks up the glass without even looking at it, his eyes following Eda’s every move instead. He takes a sip. It tastes a bit strange but he shrugs it off and continues watching Eda who has now raised her glass to her lips. Her brows furrow after she swallows a bit of the smoothie. She runs a tip of her tongue over her upper lip and Serkan’s mouth suddenly goes dry. He grabs at his glass blindly and gulps down the rest of its contents. It doesn’t help, though. Instead his throat feels even tighter. He lets out an uncomfortable cough and Eda’s eyes fly to him. There’s something in her eyes that makes it hard to breathe. Serkan moves to pull at his tie. He sees Eda hauntingly look at the glass in her hand, then at his empty glass and his next breath gets stuck in his swollen throat. It registers that he cannot feel his tongue and his vision blurs. He does notice, however, how Eda’s eyes widen in panic.  </p><p> </p><p>“Serkan!”  </p><p> </p><p>“Abi?” </p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on? What’s wrong?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Engin, call the ambulance, now!”  </p><p> </p><p>He feels a soft warm hand on his face when everything goes dark. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He comes to slowly. His eyelids are heavy and, while he’s struggling to lift them, he registers a subtle medical smell, the monotonous beeping of a heart monitor, weight on his right arm, and on his left, a warm touch of someone’s hand.  </p><p> </p><p>He manages to crack an eye open and tries to get through the horrid feeling that his mouth is full of cotton wool in order to mumble, “Water.”  </p><p> </p><p>There’s immediate movement to his left and he hears his best friend’s voice, “Oh, thank god, Abicim! You’ve given us quite a scare!”  </p><p> </p><p>The weight on his right arm is gone and his mother’s excited exclamation fills the air, “Canım benim, you’re awake!”  </p><p> </p><p>Serkan opens both of his eyes fully and sees two happy but still concerned faces hovering over him.  </p><p> </p><p>“Water?” he croaks out again.  </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, of course, canım!” his mother exclaims and disappears from his line of vision.  </p><p> </p><p>In the next moment, there is a straw at his lips and he takes a sip through it.  </p><p> </p><p>“Eda?”  </p><p> </p><p>“She stayed here the whole night, refused to leave your side. Only in the morning did we manage to convince her to go home, take a shower and change. She left about fifteen minutes ago, promised to be back soon,” Aydan says with fondness and squeezes his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“She saved your life there, Abi. Pulled out an EpiPen from her purse and injected you before the ambulance even arrived. It could’ve already been too late by the time they came.” As Engin is telling him all this Serkan can hear a tremor and lingering worry in his friend’s voice.  </p><p> </p><p>“I’m... fine,” he tries to reassure both Engin and his mom.  </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you are, canım. Thanks to Eda. God, I don’t know what we would do without her. She’s our guardian angel,” Aydan says with so much love that Serkan’s heart swells.  </p><p> </p><p>He feels warmth spread through his whole body at the knowledge that Eda still secretly carries an EpiPen with her even though they’re broken up; even though it felt awfully final when she had walked away from him after having learned the truth about her parents’ death.  </p><p> </p><p>Can it be that she still loves him, misses him, thinks and worries about him? Wonders about the way he loves her oh so deeply and misses her so desperately? The way he thinks about her constantly?  </p><p> </p><p>“When... when can I go home?” he barely manages to finish the question and starts coughing.  </p><p> </p><p>His mother quickly offers him some more water, “Here, drink this, my dear.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to go get the doctor and he’ll tell us if you’re ready to be discharged,” says Engin and leaves the hospital room.  </p><p> </p><p>The doctor comes and informs them all that Serkan is okay, but that it’d be better to stay under medical supervision till the next morning. Not a big fan of hospitals, Serkan, however, insists on getting the hell out of there. He’s ready to sign all the necessary papers and leave within the scope of his personal responsibility. The doctor agrees to release him on the condition that he will stay at home and in bed, with someone to look after him. Once that’s settled, Engin and Aydan Hanım leave Serkan to change into his clothes. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The three of them get into Aydan’s retro car. Engin is behind the wheel, Serkan takes the passenger seat and his mother gets comfortable in the back. When they’re on the road Serkan pulls out his phone, opens his call log and his thumb hovers over Eda’s name. Engin glances at him and asks, “Want to call Eda and tell her not to come back to the hospital?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, dear, no need to call Eda,” his mother chimes in from the back. </p><p> </p><p>“What? Why?” Serkan questions with a hint of fear. </p><p> </p><p>“Because I have already called her and told her we’re bringing you home. She’ll meet us there.”  </p><p> </p><p>“She... she’s coming?” </p><p> </p><p>“Of course she’s coming!” </p><p> </p><p>The warm feeling is back and a subtle smile pulls at his lips. He’s impatient to get home because the sooner they get there, the sooner he sees Eda. Serkan’s patience is tested when they get stuck in a traffic jam. It takes forever to get to Serkan’s house and he fears that Eda has already arrived and is forced to wait at the door. Or worse – she just left when she saw that no one was at home. So he gets anxious when they finally make it to his apartment and there’s no Eda waiting at the door.  </p><p> </p><p>“I should... we should call Eda. Somebody call Eda. Mom, call her, tell her we’re here, ask her where she is.” Serkan knows that he’s practically spiralling but he just cannot help himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Tabii, canım. Calm down. I will call Eda. But first let’s get you comfortable. Remember what the doctor said? You need rest.”  </p><p> </p><p>His mother ignores his grumbling and makes him settle on one of the couches in the spacious living room. Aydan Hanım and Engin start fussing over him and Serkan is just about to lose it when they hear a knock. He’s ready to jump and rush to the door but his mother beats him to it. She greets Eda with excited squeals and hugs. Once Aydan Hanım lets go of Eda she comes more fully into his line of vision. The second he sees her, Serkan feels his whole body relax. He starts breathing more easily now that she’s right there, coming closer and closer, looking at him with soft and worried eyes.  </p><p> </p><p>"Eda," he all but whispers because he's afraid that if he raises his voice she might actually disappear, like an illusion.</p><p> </p><p>"Serkan. How are you feeling?" </p><p> </p><p>"I am fine. Thanks to you." </p><p> </p><p>She shrugs it off as if it’s not a big deal.  </p><p> </p><p>“I am glad you’re okay. I was... I was worried,” she confesses softly and her eyes get clouded with the said worry. </p><p> </p><p>“I am alright. I promise. And the doctor said there’s nothing to worry about,” he reassures her.  </p><p> </p><p>She nods and then lifts a box that Serkan just now notices in her hands.  </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got you something. Should help your body regain its strength. Also calms the mind.”  </p><p> </p><p>“Another one of your magic teas?” he teases with a small smile. </p><p> </p><p>He’s relieved to see her smile in return and nod. She moves to the kitchen area and busies herself with preparing the herbs for his tea and he... he’s just watching her. He’s so entranced and enchanted by her that it takes him quite some time to realise that they’re alone. He looks around and asks in confusion, “Where... where are my mother and Engin?”  </p><p> </p><p>“They left about ten minutes ago. I started making your tea and they said their goodbyes. Did you not hear them leave?”  </p><p> </p><p>“I... I guess I got a bit distracted,” he mumbles, ears lightly tinted red with embarrassment.  </p><p> </p><p>Eda looks at him as if she wants to say something, but clearly decides against it as she shakes her head. She takes a steaming mug into her hands and silently moves towards him, joining him on the couch. She arranges the cushions around Serkan and once he’s settled, she offers him the mug. For the next few minutes they just sit in a surprisingly comfortable silence, with Serkan sipping his tea and Eda watching him from the corner of her eye.  </p><p> </p><p>It’s Serkan who breaks the silence, then, “Can I ask you something?”  </p><p> </p><p>Eda looks at him for a moment, nods, and says, “Ask.” </p><p>    </p><p>“If you had known that I’d be okay in the end, that I wouldn’t die tonight, would you still be here?” asks Serkan, his voice tinted with all the vulnerability in the world.  </p><p> </p><p>“I knew you’d be alright.” Eda’s reply comes swift and determined.  </p><p> </p><p>“Öyle mi? Nasıl bu kadar emin olabildin?”  </p><p> </p><p>She looks around the room, unsure whether she should carry on the conversation, and slightly afraid. However, because she’s Eda, she then breathes in deeply, stares right in to his eyes and says, “Because how can you die when there is still so much left for us to talk about? So many places to explore together? So many beautiful homes and gardens to make together? How can you die before we even get to the part where we make an entire life for you and me, together? Before we’ve loved each other to death?  Mümkün değil. You cannot die before we’ve lived forever together. Ben sana deli gibi aşık oldum, Serkan Bolat. You can’t leave until I say so.”  </p><p> </p><p>Her long lashes are wet from tears that are steadily dripping down her face, while Serkan is stunned into a silence he doesn’t feel like he can break. Or that he wants to break, really, because it’s not the sort of heavy silence that feels like it’s crushing him. It’s the kind that surrounds him in all its soothing calmness and warmth; the kind of silence that promises peace and happiness. The kind that is so full of love it makes him feel he’s about to burst at the seams, but his shoulders have never felt lighter. And it’s the best thing he has ever felt in his life.  </p><p> </p><p>So, he just nods silently, unaware that he too has tears sliding down his face, and opens up his arms for Eda. Always for her. She embraces him, fits in his arms like the missing piece of a puzzle and he feels complete, like never before. And then in a gentle, soft whisper – soft because he doesn’t want to break the tranquil silence and oh-so soft because it’s meant for Eda only – he says, “Seni her zaman çok seveceğim, Eda Yıldız.” </p><p> </p><p>Later, once he’s back to his sharp self, Serkan is going to wonder how he got here. How he got so fortunate to be back to a good place with Eda, exactly where he wanted to be. How something that could very well kill him, ended up saving his life by bringing his peri kizi back to him. And he’s going to think how a thing so small as a strawberry held so much power. Who would’ve thought Serkan Bolat would ever be thankful for strawberries? </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Translations!</p><p>Öyle mi? Nasıl bu kadar emin olabildin? / Is that so? How could you be so sure? </p><p>Ben sana deli gibi aşık oldum, Serkan Bolat. / I fell madly in love with you, Serkan Bolat.</p><p>Seni her zaman çok seveceğim, Eda Yıldız. / I will always love you very much, Eda Yildiz.</p><p>peri kizi / fairy girl</p><p> </p><p>Alright, so this is my first collab fic ever, and I'm glad I got to do this with mrsgreenworld because she's awesome!! We hope you guys like this effort of ours! :))</p><p>Please read and leave a comment to make our day! We're also on tumblr (same usernames as here), so come say hi!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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